"The Rear D and the FRG are one team!"

I just pulled the title of this post from Center for Army Lessons Learned: Frequently Asked Questions onRear Detachment Operations. I was trying to look up information re: communication between Company Commander and FRG Leaders. I think this is a key issue in many of the groups in which I've participated, whether the FRG Leader was married to the Commander or not.

I've seen FRG Leaders discouraged when they don't feel appreciated, when communication is bad between them and their unit commanders. How should they be communicating? Daily or weekly? This is very different during deployments and down time. I've always recommended at least a weekly email update from each to the other, when possible. The Commander and FRG Leader could pass info on how the unit is doing, current family issues in the unit, training calendar changes (OPSEC, of course), you name it. Communication is key to building and maintianing a strong team. A good FRG is an integral part of the unit's teamwork, even when the families are holding things down on the homefront. Open lines of communication need to be maintained to keep the team running smoothly.

From CompanyCommand: Command-FRG Leader Teams--

“You enlist the soldier. You reenlist the family.” Great leaders understand the power of this maxim. In a high-OPTEMPO Army, the importance of the Family Readiness Group (FRG) cannot be overstated. A resourceful, motivated FRG leader can make all the difference to the spouses and children left behind when a unit deploys.

Commanders and their FRG leaders work together as teams, and so do their respective forums—Company-Command and FRG Leader. Listen in as experienced company commanders and FRG leaders talk about working together to make a difference for Soldiers and their families.

I strongly encourage you to read through these stories, an hope you'll share some of your own here, too. ;)

"Because I am in charge, and I said no."

Okay, folks, I'm seriously looking for your stories! Here's an example from "Muddy Boots Leadership", by John Chapman, p. 74:

The junior spouse had gone to great effort to host the family readiness group meeting. She planned an icebreaker game to help people get acquainted. The commander's spouse told her, "No games." When she asked why not, the commander's spouse casually replied, "Because I am in charge, and I said no." The goodwill and participation of the junior spouse slipped away...along with that of every other spouse to whom she recounted the incident.

So, what do you think? Have something like this ever happen in your group? I have, same idea, different story. I have to try to look at both sides of the coin, though.

My first thought was, "The senior spouse was J-E-A-L-O-U-S." Maybe she thought the junior spouse had gone overboard, was outdoing her. I don't know.

Then I got to thinking that MAYbe we don't know the whole story, either. Maybe there was a time crunch to get the meeting done, child care, facility use, I don't know. Maybe they were serving food and didn't have time for a long, drawn out icebreaker game.

IMHO, though, no matter what was behind the Senior Spouse's comments, I don't think that's the way a volunteer should be dealt with. Volunteers work for FREE, and can be discouraged if not appreciated. Maybe there should have been better communication before the event, an agenda agreed upon, expectation laid out on the table. Again, from the book:

The family readiness group is the ultimate test of leadership. Unlike soldiers, volunteers can leave at any time. To motivate participation, the leader and the group must offer members something they cannot provide themselves.

I would LOVE input on Volunteer Motivation. Anything you could share from your past experiences?

Useful FRG Links and Info

The Army Family Readiness Group Leaders Handbook: provides an overview of the Family Readiness Group (FRG); its purpose, structure, and function; command and member responsibilities; key leader job descriptions; and other aspects of building and leading effective FRGs. Its focus is on the essential ingredients and key tasks of effective FRGs and their importance in helping soldiers and families cope with the stresses of military life and in building cohesive families in the Army. In a very real sense, FRGs can help soldiers and their leaders with the military mission, too. This handbook explains how.

FRG Leader Forum: We are dedicated to those who serve our Army's Soldiers and Families through their FRG Leader role. The FRG Leader Community of Practice is an online forum BY and FOR those serving as an AFR Leader. This forum provides the opportunity to share new ideas and lessons learned to improve our leadership skills and our family readiness programs. The value of this forum comes from FRG Leaders connecting with each other and sharing their experiences and hard-earned knowledge.

MyArmyLifeToo: your connection to the Army Integrated Family Support Network

SpouseBUZZ: Where Military Spouses Connect

Military OneSource: a 24-hour, 7-days-a-week, toll-free information and referral telephone service available worldwide to active duty, Reserve, and National Guard military members and their families; and to deployed civilians and their families. Military OneSource provides information ranging from everyday concerns to deployment-related issues. Also, if there is a need for face-to-face counseling, Military OneSource can provide a referral for six sessions per issue to professional civilian counselors at no cost to the service member or family member.