"Because I am in charge, and I said no."

Okay, folks, I'm seriously looking for your stories! Here's an example from "Muddy Boots Leadership", by John Chapman, p. 74:

The junior spouse had gone to great effort to host the family readiness group meeting. She planned an icebreaker game to help people get acquainted. The commander's spouse told her, "No games." When she asked why not, the commander's spouse casually replied, "Because I am in charge, and I said no." The goodwill and participation of the junior spouse slipped away...along with that of every other spouse to whom she recounted the incident.

So, what do you think? Have something like this ever happen in your group? I have, same idea, different story. I have to try to look at both sides of the coin, though.

My first thought was, "The senior spouse was J-E-A-L-O-U-S." Maybe she thought the junior spouse had gone overboard, was outdoing her. I don't know.

Then I got to thinking that MAYbe we don't know the whole story, either. Maybe there was a time crunch to get the meeting done, child care, facility use, I don't know. Maybe they were serving food and didn't have time for a long, drawn out icebreaker game.

IMHO, though, no matter what was behind the Senior Spouse's comments, I don't think that's the way a volunteer should be dealt with. Volunteers work for FREE, and can be discouraged if not appreciated. Maybe there should have been better communication before the event, an agenda agreed upon, expectation laid out on the table. Again, from the book:

The family readiness group is the ultimate test of leadership. Unlike soldiers, volunteers can leave at any time. To motivate participation, the leader and the group must offer members something they cannot provide themselves.

I would LOVE input on Volunteer Motivation. Anything you could share from your past experiences?